The Expectation of Service

There are many things that I don't remember about my wedding day. It was so full of activities, special people, and the pressure of the big day! But one thing that I do remember in our meditation by Todd Martin, was the challenge to "out serve each other". Don't let the other person get away with doing more acts of service for you. Our first year of marriage was a piece of cake, what wouldn't I do for my honey? The second year was still sweet, but a little bit more down to earth. Now, our third year we're having to be much more creative.


Ever since a little girl, I've had this notion that just because I'm female doesn't mean I am placed on earth to serve men and have babies. If there is one thing that can get me going quicker than a... (insert analogy) it's for someone to tell me, "Because you're a female, you should do this." I knew that before coming to Paraguay I would face some of this mind set, but honestly, how do you prepare for it? And yet after nearly six months I still cringe everyday when I hear Berta telling me, "Krista, serve your husband", "Krista, wash the dishes for your husband".

I want to be the first person to say, I have no problems scooping up food for Craig, or even washing his dishes. It is special to serve a person out of choice and love. It's just when people tell me to do it, I want to run away and scream! It turns me bitter to any and all forms of service to my husband. Normally, an act of service like washing his plate, or serving soup for him would be just that, an act of service. But when it's an expectation to do so, is it still service?
So this is what we have. I have the expectation that I am to serve my husband, while he is told to sit at the table and wait for the food. If Craig in turn tries to serve me, or wash the dishes, he is corrected, and he's even experienced the slap of the hand for such an outragous venture. So the ever so simple terms of service that we practiced before are now stripped away, leaving us with only a challege of what to do next. Without denied access to the kitchen, zero budget, and the cultural expectations...what do we do now Todd? How do you out serve your spouse under these terms? It really has been something that we've both been struggling with.

Slowly but surely we're both getting past these cultural terms. After much encouragment from Craig, I've pushed it aside as much as I can. I'm trying to change my attitude with the whole situation. We're starting new service adventures like, walking with each other to the bus stop, attending each other's classes, carrying the heavier bookbag, making the bed, or helping with laundry --wringing out pants by hand is a bugger!

Everything in life is there to build your charater, right Dad? And I bet God is having a good laugh watching me squirm under those words, "Craig sit down. Krista, serve your husband".

Everything in life we can learn from, but honestly, does it have to be this? I will admit that it will be interesting to see how this experience of "forced service" will influence our marriage, and culture of service.

I'd love to hear some feedback on this one. krista.craig@gmail.com

A Quick Update!

We've had a little break from the updates, but we're still kickin'! Things are still going very well for us. Although many of the numbers are down for our classes now that summer break has finished and school has started up again, we're enjoying the classes when we teach. With our free time, and there really is a heafty amount, we're picking up more students to teach one on one which has been a lot of fun to see them learn at their own pace, but also to build more of a relationship with them.

We have also started to pick up a few more hours at the Mennonite World Conference offices, helping with registration for the Carribean, and Central/South America. It has been a lot of fun to see so many names come in from so many different countries. It's also been fun to see other people's names that are doing service in these countries, registering.--From people I went to college with, to other Radical Journey groups! The deadline for Paraguayan registration is March 31, so we're expecting to have a decent influx of forms come in around, and after this date.

We are finally starting to get some relief from the heat. The sun is still strong during the days, but at least at night it cools off to a nice sleeping temperature, and our mattress is no longer constantly hot! There are still a few green mangoes hanging on the trees, but I've been told, it's very late in the season to see this. The fruits that are now in season are starfruit, guava, avocado, and soon will be grapefruit, and oranges. Pineapples, and bananas are basically ripe whenever there's heat, which is most of the year in Paraguay!

Like I said, schools are now back in session, and that goes for CEMTA (the Mennonite seminary) as well. They have started an English class on campus with one of our team members, Scott, teaching it. Although he was excited for the opportunity to teach, so were the students. 42 students, all at different levels of speaking, flocked to the first class. This not only made Scott a bit more than nervous, but also gave him no other choice but to divide the class. Craig will now be teaching this upcoming Wednesday at CEMTA to help lighten the load. I think it will be a great experience for a number of different reasons for both Craig and Scott.

Holy week is coming up, and all of the schools have cancelled their classes. During this week also falls our three month visa renewal, so we're taking the opportunity again to see a little bit more of the world. This time we're traveling together as a group, first to Buenos Aires, Argentina, and then taking a boat across to Uruguay. (Surprisingly, it's cheaper that way.) We're all looking forward to the trip and some time together.

Craig and I also want to say thank you for all of the cards, and packages. Without a doubt we feel supported and loved even from so far away. Thanks!